i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
whose parrot is this?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
