they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
