so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
