So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
