you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw a hot homeless man
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
he thought i was a dude.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
