Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
