it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
