You're so nebulous sometimes
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
