I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
