I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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