You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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