just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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