Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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