Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
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After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize