i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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