So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
