some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
