How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
