It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
