Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
