Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
