I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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