trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
