they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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