I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize