cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize