exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
