that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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