I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
