The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
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i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
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Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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