So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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