we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
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If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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