so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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