Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this just has baby written all over it
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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