Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
