she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
