I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
