Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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