you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
