I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I love you. Go after that dick
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
