PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
