____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
