I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize