you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
