Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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