so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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