Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i will never coherently bang her
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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