You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
