well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
