It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
