Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
