dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize