I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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