weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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