the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
