Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
